Thursday, March 20, 2014

Yoshi Deserves Respect

     Remember when I said some games need to be left alone? That you just need to, again, LEAVE THEM ALONE? Well, you know what Nintendo says to that? Another Yoshi's Island that kind of sucks. I mean, it physically hurts me to say this to my favorite game of all time, but he's probably gotten tired of holding a baby on his back to find the baby his brother. You can tell the series is only getting worse. I just can't believe that after all Yoshi has done for Mario, his reward is getting ridden on again, but this time by an obese plumber, not a weightless baby. Ow. Then he gets sequels, and sports, and a creepy pink tube-sock-like- excuse-for-a-living-organism who, by the way, wants to marry him and somehow managed to get him to put a rind on her deformed finger. Anyone understand this? No hands? Nothing?
     Sometimes, poor little cute dinos need a rest. A nice, long vacation on an island not inhabited with piranha plants. He deserves it. No baseball, no creepy, pink, ugly, disturbing whatever named Birdo, no hitchhiking babies, nothing of the sort. Why not make a new character? Why not ASK YOUR FANS, NINTENDO?  They have plenty of ideas, I know because I am one! Leave this abused, green, prehistoric pal alone and get someone else to tire physically and emotionally.