Thursday, August 7, 2014

Hyrule Warriors Brings the Big Baddies

     Alright, the Nintendo Wii U game Hyrule warriors, a LoZ spin-off with a  Dynasty Warriors engine coming in September, got a Nintendo Direct on Monday kind of just going over the game, but the number of playable characters have increased; Ganondorf, Zant, and GHIRAHIM have joined the battle! As you can tell from the all caps and bold on Ghirahim, I'm a huge fan of his. Personally, I think that Skyward Sword is the best Zelda game( and the fact that this character not only had his debut in it, but that he caught Link's sword in between two fingers, then shortly after, got bored of fighting him and left, makes him one of the, if not the, coolest Zelda villain. I mean, I like Ganondorf and all, but he's a clone in smash, so may as well replace him with a newer character.
     Anyways, so this game looks fantastic right now, but I have to admit I've never played Dynasty Warriors. In fact, I had no idea what it was prior to this game's announcement. What I do know is it must be worth something, considering Nintendo is going full throttle on this game. They even allowed the creation of new characters for the series(though I don't think that really matters in a spin off and Lana seems a little bit like she belongs in Sailor Moon with those big eyes of hers). Now,  I'm going to put down a list of the characters so everyone is up to speed. I'll update if it changes.

Link: So far looks like the basic middleweight class character. He has a sword, how much more basic can you get?
Alternate Weapons(if any):Magic Rod, Gauntlet
Zelda: The damsel in distress in most circumstances is here in her (pretty ugly) blonde form. She seems lighter than Link, but lower defense makes that OK.
Alternate Weapons:Wind Baton
Impa: Guardian of the princess, Impa is incredibly capable of wrecking masses of enemies in order for other weaker characters to get through. She probably is a medium-heavy character.
Alternate Weapons:Naginata
Sheik: Alternate female form for Zelda, the female character(can't stress the female thing enough), Sheik appears with her signature harp. She's probably a glass cannon, being a ninja and all. She is also clearly the fastest character.
Lana: New to the series, she is a white witch and rival of the other original character, the black witch Cia. She uses a tome and is most likely ranged and poor in defense.
Alternate Weapons:Spear, Summoning Gate
Midna: The Twilight Princess(I think, never played the game, just tried to understand the plot), Midna rides on a wolf that look a lot like Wolf Link. She seems strong and fast, I don't see any weaknesses.
Fi: The Goddess sword herself, Fi is a dancer on the battlefield, using her swiftness most likely to distract enemies or pick them off slowly. She's fast, but not as fast as Sheik.
Princess Ruto: A Zora Princess, Ruto is relatively fast, but her attacks don't seem to be for damage as much as keeping enemies somewhere away from her comrades, using vortexes and projectiles to attract irritated opponents. She uses the Zora Scale, I guess that's what lets her manipulate water.
Darunia: A goron with a massive hammer, Darunia just screams tank. He does massive amounts of damage, has stellar defenses, but doesn't move very fast at all.
Agitha: The self-claimed princess of bugs, Agitha is an aerial attacker, striking enemies with whirlwinds and her giant butterflies. She's probable middleweight class with high attack power.
Zant: The Usurper King,  Zant has recently been announced, so not much has been shown about him.
Ghirahim: The follower of Demise, Ghirahim has recently been announced, so not much has been shown.
Ganondorf: The prince of darkness, Ganondorf is the only one with a real trailer of the three that were announced. He's a heavyweight character, but not as heavy as Darunia. He uses two swords, which doesn't look that cool now, but hopefully at some point, Ganondorf will receive a new weapon like his magic.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Splitting Up the Blog

     Alright, I've decided to make a blog dedicated to SSB so then I can focus on other Nintendo stuff here, because honestly, SSB is a whole nother story. Now, as much as I want to, I haven't  got to review a game in a while because being a normal, singular human being, and having a need to burn a hole in my pocket, I have difficulty getting these games on time. Instead of keeping the title, "Nintendo Game Review", I need a title that's more generally Nintendo related. So, from now on, this blog will have a different title so then I can not just have to focus on reviewing things. What it will be, I'm not quite sure.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Items, items, items

     Ok, this is something that's a little touchy with SSB fans. Items. I know that most drop items out of battles because they're 'boring' or 'unfair'. I use items because they allow you to pull yourself out of the holes you dig for yourself, like when you self-destruct. However, from what I saw of the invitational(, it seems items will be extremely important as shown by how many there are(and Sakurai's not even close to done yet)( Now, I'm not saying anyone has to use items, but clearly Nintendo wants you to use them or they wouldn't have worked so hard. I always get rid of poison mushrooms and Mr.Saturns because they're annoying or stupid, but not everything. That's no fun. Items aren't cosmetic. They're fun.

Friday, June 27, 2014

My Top 10 Favorite Nintendo Characters

     Alright, I made a top ten worst, now I'm making a top ten best. These are my personal favorites.
I don't know why I like him so much. I just do. His flaunty attitude, his lanky stature, his awesome voice, his fitting stache, everything is better than Wario, his disgusting, irritating, far uglier counterpart.
He deserves his own game or at least a supporting role in one of his brother's game. I'm tired of just using him for soccer and baseball.

OK, I like Pit because of the dialogue he has in his game, not because of SSB. If I didn't own Uprising, he'd be in top 10 worst because of SSB. He was so cheap. However, his talks with his entertaining leader Palutena are humorous, but manage to be informative and relevant as well. He's charming, fun, and good at his job of defending the innocent. He's a fantastic protagonist. 

I like Bianca because she's not a snob like Cheren or silent like your player, she's bubbly and has an interesting issue you've never encountered in Pokemon. Her father doesn't want her to leave, unlike your zombie mother, who gives you shoes and sends you on your dangerous, merry way. He cares about her. She decides to convince him her path is the right path by showing her determination and even though her Pokemon aren't as strong as Cheren's, she got this far by going against what she was taught, which took more guts than any other character in the franchise.

Pure cuteness got him this far. Seriously, the only thing that could make him any cuter was if he had a costume that resembled a Yoshi with cat ears. Not only that, but he's also smart. Who else
 could solve those puzzles so well.

Dillon is boss. So very boss. He has horrible choices of partners, he found a couple in a bar and one of them is an annoying squirrel or chipmunk, but he's a very cool protagonist. His abilities are fun and his control scheme is fantastic. He has a cool design and a good fighting style, his game is stellar. There isn't many things you can say negatively about someone who doesn't talk.
Zelda is gorgeous. She's intelligent, confident, a good leader, and a great fighter according to SSB. Don't know why she can't fight Gannondorf(who can't fight worth dirt in smash) by herself since she's clearly capable, especially in the form of Sheik. She shouldn't need Link's help. 
4.Star Wolf(He can't let you do that)
So boss. So very boss. His boss power is too much for Star Fox. It's too much for Falco. Too much for Krystal or Peppy. So boss Slippy couldn't handle it, he died and came back to life to watch to see if maybe he could become that boss (he can't). Star Wolf is too much for you too. Scroll before your eyes burn from the boss-ness that is Star Wolf.

The character superior to Pit in every way, she deserved her spot in SSB Wii U more than Pit did. Being humorous, smart, strategic, powerful, and a goddess all at the same time, she is a fantastic character to listen to, rather it's an order or a knock on Pit's inferiority. Palutena's design is also fantastic and her mark at three is well deserved.

2.Samus Aran
Samus is the most sexual character Nintendo's ever created. She's also the best femme fatale out there. Her silence alone makes nerds across the globe fall head over heels for her. The woman has a mecha suit with an arm cannon, fights aliens without flinching, and, when necessary, strips down to her basically second skin (seriously, if that blue thing is zero suit, they're basically saying it's nude). She fights with or without this amazing suit and doesn't need anyone's help to rock the Metroid universe. 

I love, LOVE, LOVE Yoshi! Yoshi is the adorable protagonist of my favorite video game of ALL TIME, Yoshi's Island for SNES and GBA. He's cute, fun, useful, pastel, fast, and trumps Epona in every way as the best rideable creature or object ever. Screw cars, this thing can eat anything! Annoying children, traffic, train crossings, not a problem with Yoshi! Sounds like an infomercial :^ Anyway, the best Nintendo character belongs to the most popular Nintendo franchise and it shouldn't surprise anyone he landed the top spot.

8:The New Magic Number

Mario Kart 8 has raised Wii U sales exponentially.

 With the new bundle that packages the console with
 the game, the Wii U is being pulled out of its own 
quicksand. Will it be enough? Mario Kart alone
 probably won't be, being that the console's quick-
sand is really, really deep. But with Hyrule Warriors,
 Super Smash Bros., Splatoon, Mario Maker, Star Fox,
 and many others coming to Wii U in 2014-2015, the 
Wii U has a chance to crush the other two next-gen
 consoles. And to think: some people doubt Nintendo. Shame.  

Friday, June 20, 2014

Super Smash is a Nintendo Game Which Means Nintendo Characters

     This is something that's been bugging me. I go online, curious to see how people are reacting to Super Smash. I see lots and lots of Goku, Geno, Naruto, Ryu, Knuckles, Cloud, etc. Why? I don't know. Maybe because people don't understand this is a Nintendo franchise. You may find this totally crazy, but it's actually difficult to get 3rd party characters in this game. Blasphemy? Nope. Not only that, but Nintendo's got plenty of other characters to use. They don't need to spend time, effort and loads of money to stuff in Sora. I like those characters, but that doesn't mean they'll fit in. It doesn't mean they have a moveset already laid out for them. Characters, full characters, take weeks to make. They can't throw them in like sprinkles on ice cream, because if you spend too much time putting sprinkles on the ice cream, you'll have sprinkle soup. I understand your need for your favorite characters, but you aren't going to want to play as them, let alone anybody, if the gameplay in general sucks eggs. I can hope and pray for Krystal and you can make your shrine to Nintendo because you want Naruto. The likelihood of Naruto instead of Krystal is kind of low. 

Thursday, June 19, 2014

The Top 10 Most Idiotic Nintendo Characters I Know Of

     There are many characters I don't like. Some are annoying. Some are repetitive. Most are very stupid.There are many I've seen who are so entirely atrocious I turn the system off. Here are the top 10 I am aware of:

10.Kaepora Gaebora
Kaepora Gaebora is AWFUL.
He is a curse to LoZ fans all across the planet. I don't think I'm the only one who continuously presses yes to the "do you want me to explain this again" question, unaware of the twenty something paragraphs bound to slowly drag across the TV. Not only that, but it's also telling you these things AFTER you figure them out. He tells you how to throw a bomb after you blow up. Seriously? I can't be the only one irritated by this.
The champion is supposed to be a strategist. An intelligent, powerful leader of the planet's Pokemon, choosing the right team so he or she can stay in the limelight exponentially, sending all kiddies back to their mothers, where they burst into tears(if you don't believe me, try fighting Cynthia). Instead, this wuss and his long, flowing, ugly ponytail are waiting at every turn to tell you how good of a trainer you are, how much he's looking forward to you fighting him. It sorta' makes you think, "wow, this guy must be good"... and then you fight through the Elite 4, strong as ever, to find that somehow they were beaten out of the champion's chair by an ice cream cone. Terrible. His strongest Pokemon, Volcarona, is actually quite easy to kill, and the fact that he's eventually beaten by Iris, another awful trainer(champions aren't supposed to be based on one type) isn't at all surprising.

Viridi is all about the killing of humans, how selfish, annoying, rude, and stupid they are. How they destroy Mother Nature... so she makes exploding plant bombs, "reset bombs". Except for one thing... HUMANS ARE NATURE. If you want to get rid of humans, then talk to Palutena. She can tell you how obnoxious you are and how none of your dialogue is relevant in any way, shape, or form.

I don't know much about Mr.Ressetti, but I can tell you that in SSB, he is, without a doubt, the most useless assist trophy there is. In Animal Crossing, he's supposed to get mad when you reset without saving first. He never stops nagging and bothers pretty much anybody who makes the simple mistake of possibly dropping your system or something innocent like that.  

6.All the Toads

Starfox isn't exactly my forte. In fact, I think Nintendo needs to come up with a couple new franchises not only because they're just milking what they have, but also because this game needs to die. Despite the fact I don't like this game, the average internet surfing gamer must be blind if they don't realize how many annoying,"Get this guy off my tail" memes there are when you simply put in Slippy Toad. The Star Fox crew is supposed to be an elite group. That means a group which doesn't accept obnoxious dorks who can't pilot if their life depended on it. Seriously, get the guy off your own tail or let him shoot you(if I was Slippy, I'd let him shoot me. Yeesh) 
Lissa. What words can I use to describe Lissa... cliche, whiny, weak, useless, weird, USELESS. Okay, maybe I'm wrong on useless for the rest of the game, but that doesn't make her any more useful in the demo or any less irritating. The girl power thing she brings up is one of the dumbest things I've heard, especially when no one has brought up anything to make her say that. No one said you were weak, but it's very clear you aren't going to be fantastic if you bring up girl power unless you're a Powerpuff Girl or something. Then you find out she can only heal you when she's close to you, but she can't fight so you have to come to her. Leave the fight to heal your wounds? You need doctors to come with your soldiers in war so they can keep fighting! Not the other way around!

Ew. Ew ew ew ew ew. Seriously. Who came up with this dude? Is that person sane? Do they have a history with drugs? This is a chubby dude in a tight green... thing. A hooded unitard? Yuck. He's also weird, has a horrible voice, and is determined to be a "forest fairy." I guess forest fairies wear tight costumes, are fat, have nasty facial hair and child-molester-esque voices. 
Hey, listen! I'm about to tell you why Navi's pure torture! Hey, listen! She's obnoxious! Hey, listen! She'll stop your game to tell you something you already know, like Kaepora Gaebora! Hey, listen! She's rude! Hey, listen! She also likes to say, "hey, listen" so much you want to shoot her with a flaming arrow, then step on her lifeless body! 
      1.Sinnoh Rival
 His Pokemon suck. His mother doesn't seem to miss him. He clearly has some sort of ADD or ADHD or he's just always on a sugar high. Well, you're probably thinking, "well, maybe he talks fast." Yes, but not fast enough to where you can ignore the sucky speeches he gives about how he's better than you, how he's going to the next gym, how he's going to be the strongest trainer ever. Then he says, "you know what, I'm going to just sit in the survival zone and pretend my Pokemon are getting stronger." So after all that horrible dialogue, he just decides to wuss out and fight you with his lv. 60's. Thanks for nothing.

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Yoshi Deserves Respect

     Remember when I said some games need to be left alone? That you just need to, again, LEAVE THEM ALONE? Well, you know what Nintendo says to that? Another Yoshi's Island that kind of sucks. I mean, it physically hurts me to say this to my favorite game of all time, but he's probably gotten tired of holding a baby on his back to find the baby his brother. You can tell the series is only getting worse. I just can't believe that after all Yoshi has done for Mario, his reward is getting ridden on again, but this time by an obese plumber, not a weightless baby. Ow. Then he gets sequels, and sports, and a creepy pink tube-sock-like- excuse-for-a-living-organism who, by the way, wants to marry him and somehow managed to get him to put a rind on her deformed finger. Anyone understand this? No hands? Nothing?
     Sometimes, poor little cute dinos need a rest. A nice, long vacation on an island not inhabited with piranha plants. He deserves it. No baseball, no creepy, pink, ugly, disturbing whatever named Birdo, no hitchhiking babies, nothing of the sort. Why not make a new character? Why not ASK YOUR FANS, NINTENDO?  They have plenty of ideas, I know because I am one! Leave this abused, green, prehistoric pal alone and get someone else to tire physically and emotionally.  

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Polishing Just Isn't Good Enough

     "Hey, did you guys hear? Another Zelda, a remake of Ocarina of Time, but in 3D! Oh, the nostalgia! Oh, they made a Wii U HD Wind Waker! Neat, I can do what I did on the first one, but I'll have my trusty gamepad and my boat will go faster! Oh, hey, there's now a Kirby Collection, all the same games, just prettier! I could totally buy that even though I already have all those games!",says NO ONE.
Just... one more... sequel..ugh
     Look, I'm all for HD, though I've never actually noticed the graphical difference. 3D is cool and all, but why can't we make something new? I mean, there are more Final Fantasies than I have fingers and toes. Mario has gone on for more than 2 decades. I love Sonic, but he's dead now. Seriously, who waited for Lost Worlds? And how many were severely devastated? Everyone was, that is, the small fan base who still had faith in Sega. You can't just expect your games to magically get better. When they're done, they're done.Respect the dead, physically and metaphorically.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Why Side Characters Are Superior

     I'm back, and after a very, very, VERY long absence. I have gotten multiple games to review, but first I plan to pour hardcore opinion all over this site. Lots of it. And how am I going to start it? With Yoshi, a widespread view of character casts, and a short article.
     OK, I dunno' about you, but I'm not a huge fan of Mario. Not the series, the character. It just bothers me that Mario is the main character because frankly, he creeps me out. Many main characters are my least favorite. I like Falco, Yoshi, Knuckles, and even Zelda, and I don't just mean because she rocks in SSB, and if you think that's because they're all similar in personality, then you obviously aren't someone who belongs on this site. I know few people who pick main characters to play as, because the likable ones for some reason aren't important. I'm not upset by this, though I would appreciate it if they had more part in the games.
But why? Why do we like them so much? Answer: Because they are so much more interesting. Cliche seems to strike only the most important characters. Fox lost his father. I totally haven't heard that one a billion times(cough,Naruto, Tony Stark,cough). Gee, a damsel in distress? That's used twice by the same company! Samus may be the only truly original main character made by Nintendo, and even she has an abandoned at birth-esque story. If originality could just find its way to the next generation of game stars, then we won't have this problem... but that means the characters I've already mentioned will be overshadowed. That's inevitable. There's nothing we can do about this issue except watch.